And today, suddenly, I am feeling extremely gloomy….
The negativity around, sometime seeps into you, and even the ray of sunshine that your current life may be, ceases to be that, they ray and turns into a dark cloud, just ready to burst into a streak of violent pitter patter any minute…
Reasons for negativity , many :
- Its been raining since last night continuously in Mumbai. Don’t get me wrong, I love rains, but the constant grey finally, weighs you down. Also, my recent prolonged encounter with Viral, which left me weak and devoid of any leaves for the rest of the year, has instilled this strange despise towards this constant water that’s been sent our way by God. I am missing the sun, and some merciless tanning by it.
- The political scene is country goes for gloomy to gloomier. I have not been actively involved in the anna hazare moment this time, thanks to my illness, but have been following it closely. The fact that a 74 year man is hungry since the last 12 days. While I enjoy 3 days a meals (and compulsory meals, thank u antibiotics !), is totally killing me with guilt.
If you look at it, it is a pure selfless act by a man,who was and is a Common Man by definition, but his act has risen him above all of us. The old man is not married, does not have family’s future to worry about, his needs are negligible and he is not even looking to kill this corruption for any personal or immediate benefits. He does it, simply out of the love of his country and the fact that in the last 64 years since we gained Independence, it has definitely gone to the Dogs ! and there is someone, who took time out for the country, to start a movement which may change the face of this nation. The anger was always there, amongst all of us, but we have all been too busy to bother, but this one man has made each one of us stop on tracks, take notice, realize, feel ashamed, want to participate and Hope for a corruption free India !
So getting back to the point, the games the Govt is playing with the Civil Society, promising something, some times and back tracking all the time has made me very angry and much sadder. And the fact, that there is no escape from all this. Newspapers, news channels, Facebook, Twitter, all are full of it. I am not saying I don’t want to know or that I am not bothered, just that I cannot feel happy or even myself with the image of the old man, who hasn’t eaten a thing in 12 days is continuously been flashing in front of me.
And the fact that he resembles my Dad so much, the Dad who has not…………:-(
- Husband is not in. He has been travelling since Wednesday and is not expected back before the next Wednesday. I am BORED ! and LONELY ! and DYING TO SHARE A CUP OF TEA AND DETAILS OF MY UNEVENTFUL DAY with someone ! I hate it here, in MUMBAI, where I have no friends, only people who pretend to be pally with you.
And now that I have poured it all out, I hope I feel a little better, feel just a lil bit calmer.
I hope the rain stops, I hope anna breaks his fast, I hope the Govt gets a spine, I hope for my Dad, and I hope that I continue to HOPE.