Today, I am going to be positive and shout about it.
Yes, despite of all that is going around.
People closest to my heart are upset with me. I have offended them in ways, they have made an opinion about me, I am not given a chance to present my side of the story and it’s all messy. Their anger is justified, but my explanation deserves a listening too. That is not happening. And I have already spent 3 miserable days repeating their bitter words in my mind over and over again and hurting my sanity and wellbeing, all the time trying to put my fingers on the point where it went all hay-wire.
All is not well yet, but I want to stay positive. And so, I am going to be.
Today, I wanted to write about 2 lovely positive women I know, and have come to admire greatly.
Let’s start with a recent acquaintance.
L (yes, let’s call her L in tune with her name :-)) is an enthusiastic 35 something lady in my office. L has being working with this company for the last 3-4 years , she lives really far off from our workplace, which means she changes 2 locals and one bus to reach this place (and don’t even get me started on Mumbai Locals).
But L is by far the most smiling face on my wing. Always dressed to kill (she usually wears salwaar-kameez and sarees) but each outfit is well thought off, different and matched to the T.
In all our office functions (Indian theme day, rangoli competition, Christmas Caron singing etc) she is the first one to participate. She will go out of her way to participate always volunteering to do the ‘buying of props’ , organising & assembling people etc for any event. Her enthusiasm is infectious.
Not only that, she also does a lot of stuff at home. During Christmas she told everyone that she baked Rum cakes and takes orders. Ditto for Diwali specials (chakli/laddu etc)
The general impression I had of her was that she is enthusiastic talented lady, but definitely with a lot of help at hand at home for her to come so far, do so much for office functions, as well as run a small business of her own and I knew she had children.
But what I did not know, and found out one day during a generic conversation in the ladies loo was like a slap of reality across my face.
L’s husband passed away 2 years ago owing to blood cancer. Her in-laws deserted her, may be parents lived far off. She takes her 10 year old son and runs the household all on her own.
Yes, no help at home, and yet she finds the time and energy to do everything that she has being doing, while spending a good 3 hours a day on commute.
I am humbled and the respect and admiration I felt for her anyway, has risen multifold. The smiling face, is an inspiration. This is Positivity 🙂
Another beautiful example of positivity is my friend N, who is much elder to me. We first met at Pune, where we shared a room together in a hostel
N is a manglorean , married to a North Indian and has had some tough time getting this marriage approved form parents (though not as hard a time as mine 😦 )
Me and N clicked immediately thanks to the love of books. In our lonely hostel days, where she was working with in an IT firm and I had just started my career, we would chat for hours over dinner on books and life in general. N, that time was 2 years into her marriage but lived a fragmented family life. Her husband was in the US and because she could not have handled her alone, had sent her 1 year old daughter to her mother’s place in Manglore.
Every time a call came from weather of them , I could sense her sadness. Her sense of loss of being so far off from the man she loved and the daughter who was part of her body. Not being the regular-single-hip IT guys, she had no social life. Her day started with work and ended up curled in the bed with a book.
What could clearly be called the ‘grey days of her life’ N never turned depressed or looked unhappy. Amongst all the distances from the family and the life she loved, she continued with life with a cheerful attitude and positive frame of mind.
She would help me select dresses for my parties all through those wild days, guess my crushes and advise me on my temporary love stories.
During a late night chat, she told me once “I can never remain unhappy for long. Whenever I feel sad, I go for a long walk by myself and by the time I am back, it all clears out and I am my happy self again”
Even after years, these words are as fresh as ever in my mind. Such a beautiful simple way to live life.
N is now a mother of 2 kids , lives happily in Banglore with her husband. They travel often and are busy making a future for their kids. Feeling terribly low yesterday, I had just generally called her (last I called her was to invite for my wedding). We discussed this and that and spent at least half an hour laughing and smiling J
Thank you God for these utterly positive people who bless the lives they touch. Grateful !